Poetry post #1 - Ignorant Bliss (1999-ish)

I decided to go ahead and lend some credit to the title of this blog and include some "poetry." I was going to make one of those step-by-step walk-thru posts of me making dinner last night but the pictures all came out crappy (lucky you!). Instead of my vegetarian pad-thai recipe you get "Ignorant Bliss."

Thankfully, the poem is not about this kind of "bliss"
Picture found here: http://www.thristhan.com/ignorance-is-bliss

So much angst and....hair....mmmhmm...
p.s. - Dax was my favorite. 

In the late mid to late 90's I wrote a ton of rather nonsensical poetry similar to the style of Jim Morrison (whom I have already discussed) and the band Acid Bath - which was *huge* for me back then. They were dark, broody, really sexy (well, sexy to late 90's grunge fan-girl me), and my hot guy friends (again, this was *quite* subjective...) liked them. I decided that I loved their lyrics so much that I would try to write like they did. My guy friends loved it. I "inspired" one of my best guy friends to begin writing poetry as well. 

Like this but with runny black eyeliner
and a Nirvana t-shirt

This poem was one of the survivors of one of my many poetry purges, in which I decided that everything I wrote was unworthy of existence and either ripped it all up or dramatically burned it. I would swear off writing only to give it another go in a day or two after "mellowing out." 





As a rule, I will be trying to talk a little about my mental state during the writing of each poem I post in hopes of finding some connection to what I write and how it correlates with my mental illnesses. Since this was so long ago, I cannot remember my "exact" mental state - but I can tell you that it was a pretty decent time for me. I had a good group of friends, my family life was pretty stable, and I was creating a lot of art and poetry. I did not have a "love-life" at this time, but was still recovering from a major heartbreak that was probably at least a year or two old at this point. I still cried every other day or so over it - was a blathering mess really. 

No shit....I cried like this really regularly back then, but
that is a story for another day.

Ignorant Bliss (1999)

Underneath the creeping veins I sleep

Gripping onto my latest reality

He takes me for everything he needs

Squeezing me until I’m dry

I don’t care what he takes

As long as he is happy, so am I

Kinky masturbation and severe mutilation

These are what little boys are made of

I slit myself silly, bleeding pure anxiety

We take each other again and again

I rape him in all aspects and he never suspects a thing

As long as I am satisfied, I am happy

A web of confusion weaved with

The deadliest of poisons

These are what little girls are made of.

A deep sleep of nightmarish creatures

A rapist, a mime, and a politician

All silent stalkers

Beware of the Unaware

"Beware of the Unaware"...what the hell does that even mean? It sounds mysterious and scary, in any case I suppose. Well, thanks for giving it a read and feel free to give me your opinion of what my state of mind might have been way back then!