Random musing #1

I often write what I am calling "musings" for lack of a better term. I sit and write my thoughts in a somewhat flowery way without it being what I would call poetry. I have these little musings scribbled everywhere. For the sake of self-documentation, I am going to post them here. Be warned, they are typically even more maudlin than my actual "poetry."

Every morning I pass my reflection in the bathroom mirror and I purposely avert my gaze. I know what I look like. I know the monster that I'll see staring back at me. I know all I'll see reflected in that small, dirty piece of glass. Grey eyes like stormclouds, red veins like lightning in the whites of my eyes that hint towards not enough sleep and too many nightmares. Dark circles on puffy cheeks. A red eyelid caused by an infection that my body is too weak to fight off, even with medication.  Cracked lips and frown lines; big pores and that scar near my hairline. Chipped teeth and eyebrows that are long overdue.  There was once beauty here. There was once laughter and joy. For the briefest of time there was innocence.  There was once a glossy smirk and a playful wink here. There was once life here. 

Oye, if depression had a monologue, this would certainly be in it.